Trans 101

To be transgender is to have a gender identity which does not match the gender you were presumed to have based on the genitalia you were born with. This can mean a person born with a penis is actually a girl, that a person born with a vulva is actually a boy, or that a person with either genital configuration may not wholly fit either side of that spectrum and is non-binary.

This experience of discontinuity between the internal and external self is what we describe as Gender Dysphoria. Every trans person, regardless of their position within or outside of the gender binary, experiences some form of Gender Dysphoria. This is something of a political topic within trans communities, as different groups have their own ideas of what Gender Dysphoria is, how it manifests itself, and what qualifies a person as being trans. By and large, however, this debate is feckless and fruitless, as the definition at the top of this page encompasses the beginning and the ending of how these terms intermingle.

On Denial and Acceptance

This video nicely describes the experience of discovering that you are trans.

This series of tweets resonate with my experience of the denial phase, however, I was fortunate in that my means of escapism closely aligned with my career.

On Being an Ally

Gaytimes has a great article that lists some things you can do to be the best advocate you can be, this can be summarised as:

🏳️‍⚧️ Have a zero-tolerance policy for discrimination.

🏳️‍⚧️ Listen, Trans people are the only ones qualified on their own identities.

🏳️‍⚧️ It’s a 24/7 thing, just becaue there are no Trans people around doesn’t mean they can get away with it.

🏳️‍⚧️ Everybody makes mistakes, don’t freak out if you make a whoopsie.

🏳️‍⚧️ Transness isn’t an aesthetic, just because somebody doesn’t “look Trans” doen’t mean they aren’t.

🏳️‍⚧️ Don’t ask intrusive questions, would you ask a Cis person about their junk? (Cis is short for cisgender and is someone whose gender identity and expression matches their birth sex).

🏳️‍⚧️ Trans people are more than their identity.

Healthline have a good Transgender section including a well-written article entitled How to Be Human: Talking to People Who Are Transgender or Nonbinary.

Gender Minorities Aotearoa have some really great resources including a really good glossary of trans words and how to use them, including a te reo Māori section 😀.

The following is the first in a series from

The next video talks about grief family members and friends might feel when a loved one transitions.

How to deal with accidentally misgendering someone.

On the Trans Experience

Gottmik is the stage name of Kade Gottlieb, the first trans man to compete on RuPaul’s Drag Race. In this video he reflects on his drag inspirations and ways to support transgender people.

JP talks about their experience skating while Trans. Love this person 😍

Jessica talks about some of the history and stats relating to LGBTQI+ mental health.

Mathilda answers some FAQs